My husband jokes at times how I have multiple personalities, at one point I was offended by this. Offended mainly because I was so deathly afraid of what was the matter with me. It took 40 years to learn what was wrong with me is autism, and suddenly none of it was wrong!

All the things I felt were my downfalls, my oddities and my quarks have now become just me! And I recognize I did always have multiple personalities, because there is most definitely me, myself and I.

There’s the me when I’m around my friends and family that I love and treasure and feel comfortable to be 99% me. I can talk about most of the things that come to mind and not stress if I left a sentence unfinished. I never worry someone is going to call me out on my behaviour as odd as it is at times (altho this has happened in the past, it was never from fear or hate but curiosity.) I can be me, in however weird ways I want to be, just me.

Then there’s myself that I create for people outside of my bubble. I make sure I never (or try to never) say weird things, altho this definitely has happened! I used to have a safety blanket that even my friends and family learnt to throw upon me by saying, don’t mind her she’s just drunk (or high) or detoxing, or migraine-y. Either way, I had excuses as to why sometimes my mask slips.

And then there is I. The one I am when I am alone and I can truly be myself. The one that talks inside my head, the one that writes endless journals just to burn the secret words. The I that comforts my tears when they spill over the borders. I love myself, I had to learn a lot to get to this spot, but here I am.

I am autism

I am a Non- Miss