I read somewhere that wearing sunglasses creates comfort when you’re autistic because of the eye contact awkwardness. It means others can’t see where your eyes are so then you don’t over analyze what they’re thinking.

I wonder, sometimes, if that’s why I felt more confident once I got glasses. I recognized the turning point when it changed from the eye doctor saying I should wear my glasses for reading, but it morphed into my comfort level wanting to wear them all the time. Because it meant in a store, I knew who was looking at me or not, so then I could smile and pretend I was engaging even when I wanted to scream and run.

Ultimately it was still better knowing where their eyes were looking rather than not quite being able to discern the sight line.

My glasses have morphed into my everything. I have different shapes and styles so I can feel like someone different on the daily and maybe that’s part of my masking, not wanting to feel like myself.

But it’s part of my identity now and it makes me feel okay.

I am autism

-a Non-Miss