I feel like everyday now since my diagnosis, which has been a mere five days, I’ve thought so many things I wonder about. I say wonder because it doesn’t feel like worry anymore. I have the answers I was seeking for decades, now I simply wonder.

Did I mistaken your face because of my autism?

Was the impossibility of me asking what you’d said a fourth time or the misunderstanding of the simple sentence the first three times because of my autism?

I’m sad for the little girl me that never understood all the things but I forgive her and I’m teaching her but I’m still learning so much!

I no longer wish I could fix myself. I no longer wonder what’s wrong with me. I no longer dream of a vitamin or a pill fix, because this is how I am, no matter what chemicals I put into myself.

So I’m okay with how I am, and I’m learning what autism means to me and what it was doing to me, even if I don’t understand all the things that were/are/is my autism.

-a Non-Miss